The random pursuit of happiness

Somebody posted a link on Facebook yesterday which was a survey that a friend of theirs had put together for their psychology degree. It was trying to gauge the effect of Facebook use on our general psychological well being. Being a sucker for a good quiz and also underwhelmed with my work situation at the moment, I took 10 minutes out of my day to fill it in. By the time I got to the end of it, I realised: this is probably the happiest I've ever been in my life. Frankly I don't think Facebook has had much to do with it, but it was a lovely realisation nevertheless. I mean, I knew I was contented, but considering how messy my emotions have known to be in the past, this is not only reassuring but inspiring - knowing I've followed my heart and head in the correct measures, and ended up here. Life is good, and beautiful, and real.

My large and vibrant circle of friends are a big part of this. Last night I had 2 separate friends sell the virtues of 2 of my other friends; each one proclaiming "how great is So-and-So! She's so wonderful!" and each time I've said "I know! Isn't she just?" and my heart is warmed. Not only because it's cute to see my friends meet and get on so well, but because it is such a direct way of reinforcing how freaking brilliant they all are. So much so, that they are instantly taken with each other. I just love it.

They treat me pretty well, too. While I am not a nervous performer, I do have hella anxiety about certain exterior things, such as "marketing" and "how I should look" (something I deal with by ignoring it completely). The fact my friends are there supporting our humble little band is amazing in itself, and we do really appreciate the after-show banter when they go on about how great we sounded or how we looked like we were having so much fun. But somebody said a strange thing to me last night. She said: "You looked exactly the way you were supposed to look." Me, in my scruffy jeans, dirty cons and lovely old scarf, not feeling beautiful in the slightest, but still apparently looking the part, and being myself.

I'm a very, very lucky person.

I know this post has nothing really to do with the project, but I just thought it would be nice to remember. These are the people who are going to lead me for the next 12 months, and I have every faith in them.